When you don’t love him back

Hey Beautifuls,

Breaking up with someone is always tough, but relationships either last or they don’t. If you know it won’t last you don’t have much choice.

I met my first real boyfriend about two years ago. This guy was doubtlessly the most wonderful guy I had ever met. He was the kind of boyfriend that saw to your heart, that didn’t care what you looked like but still thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world (and made you feel so as well). He asked about your day and listened to you when you talked, he was funny and lovable, and at the same time the kindest person. No one is flawless, I’m aware of that, but I tell you: he was as close as can be.

I felt like I could share anything with him, still everything wasn’t quite all right. You see, when he kissed me, I wanted to pull away. I felt like that the first time he kissed me and I felt like that every other time we kissed too. Since I’d never kissed anyone before him, I didn’t know what it would be like either. I thought (or rather hoped) that it might be one of those things developing by time!

Well, it didn’t. I wasn’t attracted to him at all! I waited for weeks, months and eventually more months to see if anything would change, but the thought of being in a relationship with him made me wanna run away. It was as if someone was holding me from running though, or rather something. The thoughts were taking over my mind: “Guys like him don’t grow on trees if you think so, Lissy!” “Are you really gonna leave him?” “Don’t you understand how hurt he’ll be!?”

Hurting him was the last thing I wanted to do. But I wasn’t in love with him. Actually it wasn’t more complicated than that.

All cards on the table, I made up my mind: I had to break up with him, despite the thoughts in my head. It was not gonna be fun and he would be (understated) miserable for some time, still I’d been sad already and would stay so if not ending this. I had to do it, it wasn’t fair to anyone of us to let it go on like this.

So, I did it on a Friday afternoon, just after school. That way he would have some days off school to collect himself. We took a walk and I told him I had something that I needed to say. I think he sensed what it was, so we sat down at some stairs and I started telling him about how I felt. I had never seen him that broken. Knowing that I was the reason to it didn’t make it much better either, but I knew he would get over it. Then we just sat for a while. I stayed with him as he processed it, trying to show my support as the friend that I was to him, even though I wasn’t his girlfriend anymore. Finally, we went our separate ways, and I had the most amazing shower of relief washed over me.


Break-ups are difficult, but sometimes necessary. To me it was, and looking back I’m so glad I ended it. Nothing is holding me back anymore; I feel free! Only noticing the difference made me understand what an amount of negative energy that relationship had cost me. Now there’s no need to worry about that anymore, and I can start living my life for me!

For those of you who are in relationships; I hope you’re happy. But if you’re not, don’t stay miserable longer than you need. Think about you. Take care of yourselves and set your mind on your own happiness, and nothing else. It’s your life! ♥︎

And beautiful you are,


Hey Beautifuls!

What would you say if I told you to start off the day with blueberries? Do you even like blueberries?

Well, maybe you could learn to like them!

Why you should eat more blueberries:

The first reason: They are true vitamin bombs!
– Blueberries contains lots of vitamins and other nutrients. Healthy as few, especially considering what a small amount you must eat to get what your body needs!

The second reason: They are good for your eyes!
– Due to the high antioxidant capacity, blueberries get the blood running – so also in the eye! At organicfacts.net, this is what is claimed: “They can prevent or delay all age-related ocular problems.” If so, blueberry on!

The third reason: They can lower blood pressure!
– If you have high blood pressure, maybe this is something to try? Healthline.com means that blueberries seem to have significant benefits for individuals with high blood pressure.

The fourth reason: They can make you smarter!
– Okay I don’t have any facts on that, but the antioxidants are said to affect areas in our brains that are important for intelligence. They may also influence aging neurons, which leads to an improved memory (or a delay of aging).

The fifth reason: They taste good!
– Blueberry jam, cupcake, ordinary cake, juice, soup, lemonade… The list could go on forever. You can eat blueberries whenever you like, to whatever you’d like (basically), or simply the way they are. Me, I decorated my banana pancakes with blueberries!


The sources I’ve used to support my arguments are:

If you’re interested in knowing more about the benefits of blueberries, go and check them out! However, I have no proof on that the arguments listed are correct or as “proved” as they are claimed to be. But I say, it could be worth trying! I like blueberries, and so far I’ve only heard good things coming from them! ♥︎

Take care of your bodies,

Fear is a choice

I think I was about 14 years old when I saw the movie that would come to change my life (for a period of time). The movie that gave me strength and willpower, courage and hope. The movie in which the quote that became my new motto had its origin: After Earth, starring Will and Jared Smith.

I don’t know if you’ve seen it. It came to the cinemas in 2013, and, according to me, there wasn’t much talking about it after that either. I guess it didn’t get as famous as it was expected to be, but I may be wrong. Anyways, I thought it was okay, but then they said something that made the superwoman inside of me step out. No; break free! And I had the revelation of the year.

What they said? You just read it: Fear is a choice! That’s what they said. I have no idea how it sounds to you, but to me it was as if flames and fireworks popped up by the announcement. “Fear is a choice; BAM!” That’s how I heard it, because you see Beautifuls, I had plenty of fears.

I was afraid of getting in contact with new people, especially with so called ”popular students”, because I didn’t want my dorkyness to scare them away. I was afraid of being left alone, in a room where I didn’t know anybody because I felt too insecure about myself, and I was way too comfortable in my comfort zone. However, my absolutely strongest fear was one of the dear old classics: stage fright. I loved music and I loved singing, people even told me I was good at it. Yet, whenever I would want to show it, this pain in my stomach just exploded. And I felt sick.

I was even afraid that it would always be like that, and I was almost close to giving up the whole performance-thing. Then I heard these words, and I thought ”What the heck, why am I even afraid? For what reason?!” Suddenly I felt like I could choose to be afraid or not, and I was certainly not going to stay frightened! So I decided that it was true. That fear was a choice, and that I can choose not to be scared of singing in front of a crowd.

Easier said than done… The next time I was gonna enter a stage, I wanted to run away. One thing had changed, though: I had started to see the performances as practice instead of an actual examination. The more I would do it, the easier it would get. Eventually that fear started to cease. Sure, I’m still nervous about singing in front of people, but time (and practice) made it much easier than it once was.

Now I’m looking for ways to challenge myself. When I identify a new fear, I try to expose myself to it instead of avoiding it. Examples of this taken from myself is:

  1. I’m not a fan of spiders – I pick it up in the palm of my hand
  2. I hate shots – I choose not to tell the nurse/doctor that I’m afraid and pretend as if I’m fine with the situation
  3. I’m not comfortable with hanging out with my new colleagues/classmates – I go to the party they invited me to (even if my nice bed calls out to me more than a party)
  4. Driving in heavy traffic makes me nervous – I get out in rush-hour
  5. I’m afraid of singing (and talking) in front of people – I get up on the stage

(Picture from Wikipedia, Traffic)

I think overcoming your fears only makes you stronger, additionally more comfortable with yourself. This really is easier said than done, but thinking like that will most likely hold you back. So just be aware of that, then tell yourself that fear is a choice and decide not to be scared anymore. Note that some things are okay to be scared of, though, like being rubbed or killed or something. You shouldn’t go and, you know. Don’t take this too serious!

One tip is to discover the beauty of your fears. That way you may manage to turn it around! Are you afraid of darkness? – Go out and watch the stars in the middle of the night. Are you afraid of spiders? – You’ll figure something out!

But I challenge you. Find one of your fears that you’re sick of, then go and meet it! Seriously, what have you got to lose? ♥︎

Stay persistent,


Guide to stop smiling

Nothing beats a smile…

Normally I’d say I agree, but I can also be a little picky sometimes. This is how I actually feel about it: Nothing beats a smile – as long as it’s a warm, genuine, non-forced one.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell whether a smile is real or not. Not only are we getting better at faking them, but also at using this kind of strategy more often. When I ask how my friend is, the most popular answer is “I’m fine“, this even when I know she’s not. It’s like everybody prefers to keep a lot of stuff to themselves. No one talks anymore! That is something I really struggle with to understand. Seriously, why do we do that? It’s not as if it makes us feel better? Only the other way around.

My guess is that maybe we feel confused by this new phenomena and choose to fake a smile instead of telling the truth, just to be on the safe side. Then let me help you out! Below follows a list of when you’re allowed to fake a smile and when you shouldn’t.


When you’re allowed to fake a smile:

  1. When you work within service
  2. When you meet total strangers (that are not yet ready to hear about your awful day)
  3. When you’re acting in the next Indiana Jones-movie
  4. When you meet Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom
  5. When you happen to walk into a pole on the street and smile in attempt to hide the pain
  6. When your dentist asks you to show your teeth
  7. When somebody (preferably who you like) takes a picture of you
  8. When a family member wants you to take out the trash (even though you don’t want to but should because you love him/her)
  9. When you eat food (any food) that somebody cooked specially for you
  10. When you want to show somebody that he/she has got something on their teeth without telling them directly

When you shouldn’t fake a smile:

  1. When somebody that you know well asks how you feel
  2. When you see something that’s wrong but don’t have the energy to do something about it ( -> you should do something about it)
  3. When you’re in a very bad mood (no one can be happy all the time)
  4. When somebody points out something negative about you just to make you feel bad about yourself
  5. Whenever you start noticing that a smile would drag you down. You smile because you’re happy. If you feel down you’re not happy. Simple as that.


I hope my lists have been helpful to you. If you have anything to add, remove or change – leave a comment! ♥︎

Smile honestly,


We all are a bit stupid

Where are my glasses?! On my head, really? That’s embarrassing…

I do these kind of things all the time, stupid as I am. And every time I’m thinking: Okay, NOBODY would ever be that stupid but me. Then I hear others talking about silly things they’ve done, and all of a sudden I don’t feel as brainless anymore. I like that. If anything, I enjoy listening to good stories. But you know, sharing is caring. Thereby, I’ve collected a few dumbass situations for you down below. If you don’t think they’re stupid, that’s good. That means I have a shot in life. Otherwise… Nah, I’ll make it somehow!


I can hold the car keys in my hands the entire way to the car, because I know I will want to unlock it any second, and holding it in my hand makes me prepared for the action. Then, reaching the car, I grab the handle and try to open it! “Um, Lissy? It’s locked remember?” I look down at the keys, then at the rest of the parking area just to make sure nobody’s seen me. This happens too often to me…


My cat joined me on my trip through our garden this morning. All of a sudden, she felt like climbing a tree (you know, like cats do). What she forgot was that it had been raining the whole night. Shaking the weak tree, as she managed to do, she had all of that water over her. I could see the disgust in her eyes the second she realized what was happening to her! She escaped that tree quicker than anyone had ever left a tree before…


Once a week we arrange language studies to new citizens of our country in my church. Grown-ups are usually the ones that want to come, but they bring their children as well. Now it’s pretty much a big family reunion every time. I love it!

The thing is, some of the children tend to like me. Don’t misunderstand me; I like them too, but there are quite a lot of names to memorize, you know. One day, there were two girls following me around. They told me their names and I thought I had comprehended it. Until I realized I had totally forgotten about one of the girls! Really, I could not remember it! I’m honest, I would have asked her to repeat it – if it wouldn’t have taken so long for me to reach that conclusion. I still don’t know her name… I hate it when that happens. No matter if it would have been a stranger at a party or a perfect blind date. I HATE IT!


Sometimes the thoughts just fly away, and I start thinking of stuff that have nothing to do with what I’m currently doing. I’m sure it happens to you too, and usually not only once! Most of the time I’m quite smooth, though. I answer with “Mmh” and “Aha”, which works all the way until the person I’m talking to says: “What?” That’s when I realize he/she has just asked me a question. But what was the question… What did we even talk about..? It always ends with me having to confess my lack of attention.


This must be the silliest mistake I have ever made. I am so naive sometimes… Anyways, this is the story. Be observant, Beautifuls!

I was out shopping with my friend one day. While entering the final store, we sorta were a little short of time. Anyhow, I liked the clothes in there so I really wanted to take a look before we left for home. Lucky we did, because I found this cool T-shirt with a palm-leaf on it that I decided to buy! Since all this happened in a bit of a haste, I didn’t have any time to show it to my friend. So I stuck to my own opinion and bought it.

Coming out of the store, my friend wanted to see what I’d found in there, of course. Proudly, I picked up the T-shirt and showed it to her. “What do you think?” Her answer: “Eeh.. Are you serious?” Then she just looked at me, probably to see if I actually was as stupid as she feared. Obviously I was, I had no idea what she was talking about. Then she started to twaddle about weed and how the leaf on my T-shirt did not come from a palm tree…

To my defense, I was 15 by then!


I hope you enjoyed reading about this stupidity. Perhaps you even saw yourself in some of them? Or maybe you’re keeping some dumbass stories to yourself? Let me know if you do! ♥︎

Stay careful,


Chicks before Dicks (and Bro’s before Hoes)

Hey Beautifuls!

What is it that you tend to fall for? Are you a chick, are you a bro? Are you into dicks or into hoes? It doesn’t matter really. Could you maybe tell me this instead, though: When you meet a new boyfriend/girlfriend, do you easily forget about your friends?

To you who just said yes: I know you were honest, keep going with that because I really appreciate that. To those of you who just said no: That’s good if you don’t, but I don’t think all of you actually told the truth. Before you get angry with me, take a couple of minutes to read this post and then tell me again if your answer is yes or no.

I have six close friends. At the moment half of them’s got boyfriends and the rest of them don’t. One of my friends has had quite many of them, since she prefers being in a relationship. It’s nothing wrong with that, I’d say. The thing is that you can tell whether she’s in a relationship or not, because when she is you don’t see her around as much.

I’m sort of prepared of this already, because I’ve seen how often my parents have friends over. It happens like five times a year, maybe. That’s what happens when you meet the right one, start a family and all that crap, but I guess it’s okay by then. My friend, however, has not been very lucky. She’s had three boyfriends before her current boyfriend, and every time she’d really gone into it. Then, when she’d break up with one she’d be like: “I need my friends!” I love her, so being there for her by then is to me a matter of course. Unfortunately I feel a little used when she eventually meet the next guy, and we don’t talk anymore.

She doesn’t mean to be like that, I’m sure of it, she just seems to have a problem with prioritizing friends and boyfriends. For her, it’s either friends or boyfriends. If she’s aware of it, I have no idea, but since she still meets with us when we hang out all together, I’m quite sure she thinks we are closer than I’d say we are. Just because we are her closest friends doesn’t mean she’s our closest friend, you know?

Still in this case it could have been much worse, and I think most of my friends don’t mind her behavior. But if she wouldn’t have kept the little contact to us that she has, she’d probably end up losing us, and then what would she do if she’d break up with her boyfriend?

That’s why I tell you, Beautifuls: CHICKS BEFORE DICKS and BRO’S BEFORE HOES. Friends are so important! I’m sure you know that already, but do your friends know?

Regardless if you’re in a relationship or not, if you want your friends to stay with you you gotta let them know what they are worth to you. My friend seemed to take us for granted while her relationship ended, but we were there for her even though she hadn’t been there for us, and that was nothing she could have counted on. Relationships must be taken care of, so don’t forget about the ones to your friends and family. Because when your partner leaves you, they are the ones you will turn to. Then you better make sure someone’s there.

It’s good if you don’t forget your friends while meeting someone new, then you know how to handle the situation. Still, I’m pretty sure my friend doesn’t think she forgets about us either. It’s that easy!

So ask yourself again: Do you forget your friends while meeting a new partner? Even if you don’t think so, maybe it’s time for you to check with your friends too. Only they can tell if they feel forgotten or not. ♥︎

Love your beloveds,

chicks-2232990_1920(picture of chicks from pixabay.com)

About Longing

Hey Beautifuls!

Have you ever been longing so much for something, someone, or just some point in life that it feels like you could run a marathon just like that (assuming you’re not a professional sprinter)? You just wanna jump, shout, laugh and cry at the same time; you don’t know what to do with yourself!

Anyways, that’s how it is for me when I’m really looking forward to something.

Growing up, being a classic teenage girl with a desire to be somebody completely different than the actual person I got to be, I was constantly dreaming about getting away. About living a life where I could be any side of me that I’d want with nobody knowing who the heck I’d been earlier. It’s not like I was an awful person really, let’s just say I was sick of being in a town where everybody thought they knew who I was. Besides, in my eyes I was not only “fat and ugly” (naturally), I was also shy, boring and way too cautious. But I couldn’t change that where I was. No, I had to get away for that, some place FAR from this town. That’s what I thought.

Because of this, I was really looking forward to the day I’d graduate High School. I imagined it being the same as if a prisoner would be let out of jail, even though I had no idea what that’d feel like. Just being able to choose for myself, do what I wanted to do and go where I wanted to go… I couldn’t wait! I felt like I could set off at the starting line for that marathon right away.

I still feel like I can’t wait to do stuff, I’m pretty sure that is one of the unchangeable things about being a human: eager. Then a voice starts nagging in my head (always resembling an aunt Betty) that good things come to those who waits. And I’m thinking “Pfft! That made me feel better! ”

… Till I figure that old saying might actually be true. I graduated High School this year. I can do what I wanna do and go where I wanna go (with some limitations), and in 14 days, my ass and I will be backpacking through Europe – my first get-away journey! I’m not gonna lie to you; IT FEELS AWESOME. Would it really have been the same thing if I had not been looking forward to it all this time, though? I don’t think so.

Longing makes that something, someone or some point in life extra special the day you actually get there. It’s like when you haven’t seen a dear friend in a long time. Of course you see him/her everyday and you love him/her just as much then as now, but the whole waiting makes the situation so much different. Now I’ve finally graduated, and I can proudly admit that it was worth waiting for. And sure, I wanted to go travel seven years ago too, but now I really want to go!

So what’s the rush? Keep dreaming. Challenge yourselves. Be eager longing! Because if good things come to those who waits, they’re gonna find you! ♥︎

Stay curious,


Burning Pancakes

Hey Beautifuls,

Do you like pancakes?

I could live on pancakes, I’m pretty sure of that. I could eat them for breakfast, lunch, dinner… and then when I’d wake up the next morning I could eat them again. I want to believe it’s one of those kinds of obsessions that are not particularly harmful, but I may have change that… Anyways, I LOVE pancakes!

But you know that feeling when you’ve got something real good going on and then you just screw it up? This morning, I was gonna make pancakes. Then I turned away from the cooker in what I thought was simply a few seconds, and I burned that pancake black. I was not even surprised. I just stopped for a while, looking at the pancake and thought: “Yep, I sure burned it”.

There are days when I feel like life is pain all way through, like there’s always got to be something. Most of the time I think life is sorta funny, though. As if the things that happens are linked to each other. What if there’s a common thread through everything in life?

Back when I was 13, there was this guy that started to show an interest in me. Since it had never happen to me before, I thought it was nice. We were in the same age and he was fun, so I didn’t mind him being annoying to me (really: had a crush on me). Then one day, he kinda stopped. By then I couldn’t understand why, but today, thinking back on how it was, I’m pretty sure he lost his interest in me because I didn’t give him anything back. He gave and I took, sort of.

If I had showed him I liked him back, I might would have found something nice. But as he was putting himself out there, I waited to long to take the chance. I turned away, and I burned that pancake.

But what do I wanna say with this?

Well. In our world, there are different types of pancakes to burn – and chances to miss. So what I want to get to, no matter the situation, is this: try not to! When you have something good going on, cherish that opportunity and make something out of it. After all, you only live once. Life is too short to miss out on anything!

But Beautifuls,
If you’d manage to burn your chance as I did with my pancake – don’t worry about it. Use my line above and say: “Yep, I sure burned it”, then move on. Perhaps you could even fix it? Me, I ate that pancake anyways. I guess banana and maple syrup could heal any wounds! (but that’s a different story) ♥︎


Stay healthy obsessed,



The Teenage Hell

Today I’m gonna be straight honest with you guys. Being a teenager sucks! Everyone who has ever been one should know that, but sometimes I get the feeling like the older you get, the more you forget about it. Hopefully this is because life gets better, and not the other way around.

Anyways, to you who forgot what it’s like being a teenager (perhaps also to a future Lissy), this is experience from a recently graduated High School girl:


I am one of those students who you find at the first row in the class room. Always reaching for the best grades, making my teachers proud as much as myself. Honestly, I don’t know where this stress came from, but it got serious. Failing a test is like being beaten to the ground. It can make me wonder if I will ever get back to the same level where I was before. Then I’m thinking of what would happen if I don’t, and suddenly I’m cold sweating!

I wasn’t exactly struggling through school, that may be why I started striving for the best results – because I saw that it was possible. You’d think that is good, but it was such a burden for me in High School that I got sick of education completely. Now just the thought of attending College makes me wanna throw up.

Fitting in

The teenage is where you start finding out who you are. You’re experimenting, trying different styles, hobbies, friends… For some people, anything that you come in touch with! Me, I wanted everyone to like me. I wanted to be nice, fun, outgoing, cool, tough, confident – you name it. Any person should think: “Oh, there’s Lissy! I love that girl!” But we all know that is not possible.

Fitting in only lead to self-accepting issues, in my case. One period I could never be pleased with who I was. I hated myself and I wanted to cry just by one look in the mirror. Now I’ve start realizing I’m enough, just the way I am. It’s too bad you can’t see that earlier, though.

Cigarettes, alcohol and drugs

Not in all crews is this an issue, but in my previous class it was. When I started High School, classmates of mine could come and tell me about their weekend using sentences like: “We smoked some weed by a bonfire. It was nice.” or, “I was at a party at my friend’s, we we’re sooo drunk!”

At first I felt like a criminal, just taking part of the stories (these things were very new to me). Then, hearing it at least once a week it wasn’t that strange anymore. Even though I didn’t try any of it myself, alcohol in my ears eventually had the same effect as lemonade – harmless! Even drugs were an usual midnight pleasure and there were those who couldn’t even make enough fingers to count all of the types they had tried.

I still don’t think it’s particularly weird, but I’ve realized how lucky I was that never got into any of these things. Half of my previous class is now addicted to tobacco, and I haven’t met one smoker that didn’t tell me: “Don’t ever start smoking.” There were even people in High School, 16-18 years old, that got high or drunk at least every weekend. Sober, some of them could be the most miserable people I have ever met.

So Beautifuls, if you’re not aware of this already: Don’t fall for it, because nothing good will come from it! And parents: take it seriously.


I don’t miss it AT ALL! Puberty to me answered to: sweat, growing body parts, extra skin, new hair, sore breasts, bleeding from places where one should not bleed, unpredictable temperaments, emotions, immature fights, stress if being a little late, panic if developing to early… There is quite a lot ot things going on here. This is a period in life where we need to be left alone when we say so. Usually it’s just for a short time anyways. And don’t be mad at us for being grumpy or angry, we’ll calm down eventually but right now we can’t control it! (!!!)


Sex and group pressure

The experimenting continues and we all hear from our friends that we gotta meet guys and girls, lose our virginity, enter our first relationship and bla, bla, bla, it could on forever! My friend told me about how her classmates could discuss sex positions at the lunch break. They were 16 by then.

Sex wakes a lot of curiosity, but don’t worry if you’re 16 and still a virgin. I’m 18 and still a virgin, and I know there are people even older than me who haven’t had sex yet. Try to ignore the pressure, your time will come. And when it does, you won’t regret waiting till you’re ready. After all, YOU should feel okay doing it, no matter what your friends say, since YOU are the one who will regret it if it’s wrong, not them.

Mental illness and dark thoughts

Finally, if you haven’t figured it out from all of this already, the teenage is a stressful period. Pressure coming from school, friends, media, parents, ourselves… I didn’t know it affected me as much as it did until just recently. I felt so depressed some days during my final year at high school that I could chose to call in sick. Apparently, that is not how it should be.

But I met worse cases than myself, and that is probably why I didn’t think I was affected. I wasn’t as bad as them. When I was 16, one of my friends tried to hang herself. That’s how sick she was of living, the pressure had become too much for her. She never got normal again. Her brain was damaged while not getting enough oxygen, which left us a complete different person.

“Am I good enough? What am I doing here? IS THIS IT?”; she wasn’t the last one among my friends to struggle with these kind of questions. Honestly, being a teenager, this is what has been by far the toughest, most disgusting moments. You should know what bad asses teenagers of our time are, dealing with these dark thoughts! Because not only are they heavy, but damn serious as well. And we gotta take care of each other.

Anyhow, that’s my experience.
Did I miss anything? What are your views of teenage? ♥︎

Let me know,

With a little bit of luck

Hey Beautifuls! How are you?

Do you believe in luck?

Honestly, simple luck is not something that I believe in. I’m pretty sure everything that happens is planned in one way or another. But for those of you who don’t, with a little bit of luck is probably how you would describe the end of the incident I got to take part of the other day.

You see, I’ve been working at a supermarket in my town during the summer. Parts of the time, I’m the girl you meet at the opposite side of the cash desk. Me, I meet all of you. And I tell you, there are MANY kinds of people in this world, only in my neighborhood even!

So, this “other day”, I met a woman. She’s in her sixties, still dresses in black hoodies and her mind doesn’t quite sort things out the way it should (I guess she’s had some problem with drugs and alkohol earlier in life). I recognize her, and I always get the feeling she’s not sure where she is all of the time.

Anyways, she is just about to pay for her stuff, and after digging for some time in her wallet, she handles me an invalid ten dollar bill. I tell her I can’t accept that, but she really doesn’t seem to understand why not. So she asks: “Why not? Why can’t I pay with this”? and I, once again, try to make her understand that her bill is invalid.

With her diffuse mind and my perfectly calm business face, this discussion goes on for a while. She wants to take her food home and pay for it another day since she lives close by, and I say if she lives that near it’s okay for her to just go home and get the money she needed. Only she didn’t have any money at home… So here we are, and by this time more costumers have joined the line and I need to ask my colleague to open a second cash desk.

After working all day, my head was starting to get pretty tired, but I’m still trying to find a solution on this. Since I remember she had also handled me 2 bucks, I figured she’d might have some more money in that wallet. You know what? She did: coins! Great, I’m thinking, that’s gonna take us somewhere… (I hope you sensed my sarcasm)

But there is no point in start throwing towels around you yet! I tell her that we should try with her coins, and then she can decide what she needs the most at the moment and buy the rest another day. Reluctant, of course, but I suppose she’s realized she doesn’t have much of a choice. So, I’ve had 2 bucks already, how much more could we possibly need? 20 bucks? Ha, we’re screwed…

… was what I thought, but giving me her first hand full of coins, we’d already reached seven bucks. And she’s got more coins in there. Actually it seemed as if there were no end! She just kept handing me coins, and before none of us knew, she had given me 20 bucks in coins!

We were all smiling when I told her she could take her food home, me, her and the woman next in line that had been following the entire incident. After seeing things like this, it is too difficult for me to believe in such things as pure luck. I know someone was watching that lady. Because, I mean really? What are the odds of that happening? ♥︎

Have a beautiful Thursday!