When your 15 year-old sister gets pregnant

Hey Beautifuls,

How are you? Good? I hope you are!

The other night, my friend was not so good, unfortunately. The time was past twelve at night when she called me. I was about to go to sleep, but when her name appeared on the screen of my cellphone I thought I’d better pick up. I’m glad I answered the phone – she really needed to talk. You see, this week she had found out that her little sister was pregnant in the fifth month.

Now, this would have been a big thing even if her sister had “only” been pregnant. But the sister was 15 years old AND pregnant in the fifth month… And they had just found out. My friend was quite anxious, so to say.

So I talked to her. Listened mostly, though. It happens pretty often that people tell me stuff that I don’t have a clue about whatsoever, but this was actually not one of those times. I knew exactly what she was going through, since I had a friend myself just a few years ago that got pregnant. She was 15 too.

Before that, young mothers was only something that I had seen on television; nothing that happened in real life. Maybe you’re the same, thinking like that too? Well, do you know why that is? It is because when the kids in school (or people in general) find out that your friend/sister/whatever by the age of 15 is pregnant, everybody will start talking about it. Then you know how i goes. One story turns into a rumor and one rumor turns into several rumors. So you try to keep it down.

The difficult thing about keeping quiet is that you’re not allowed to talk about it with anyone. I don’t believe it’s a secret that keeping things to yourself is a heavy load to bear, and the bigger the secret the heavier the load. So I could see why my friend needed to talk! Talking doesn’t turn back time, though, and nothing that I said could ever change the situation that was either. Still that only made her role as a sister even more essential.

Beautifuls, when something happens to you that you have not quite planned, you’re usually aware of it, and that it’s serious. You don’t need more people to tell you how foolish and irresponsible you’ve been (even though some certainly think they have to tell you again), you know that already. And you definitely don’t need more people to judge you, look down on you or perhaps even turn their backs on you. You need support.

So, if you’re a sister, a brother, a friend, or maybe even a parent to somebody that’s just found out she is pregnant: make sure to be that support. Here are some things I learned:

  1. Don’t judge. It could have happened to you too, even if you don’t believe it. Treat her as you would have wanted to be treated.
  2. Don’t spend too much time on being grumpy, angry or other silly tempers. Nothing can change the situation as it is, so you might just as well accept that. Besides, she’s having it worse than you.
  3. Don’t try to affect her decision. It’s her body and she decides if she wants to keep it or not.
  4. Don’t turn your back on her if she’d happen to yell at you or behave in a bad way. Believe me, she’s having a hard time at the moment. She needs you. Then make sure to be there when she’s calmed down.
  5. When you feel like running away or giving up, try to remember it’s only for a short time. It will be over soon.

If you’re young and pregnant:

  1. Don’t wait with telling your parents, a sibling or a nurse about it. That will not only make it easier if you decide to make an abortion, but save you some deep, long-lasting emotional crisis later on.
  2. It’s your body, you decide what to do with it!
  3. Don’t worry about it being a big thing, really it’s not as big as you’d think. It happens to a lot of people. You’re not alone, and there are definitely people you could talk to that has been through the same thing.
  4. Don’t be afraid. It’s gonna be fine one day!

Before you go, don’t forget that we share this world. Take care of each other! ♥️

With love,
Lissy

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