Talking about Bus drivers…

Hello Beautifuls!

How are you these days? Busy? Not at all? Me, I have lots of projects going on, especially since Christmas is getting close! My mind is sorta multitasking, and when I try to do several things at one time I end up forgetting what I was doing. It’s a little messy in there I guess. My thoughts aren’t exactly being considered before I express myself (nothing unusual really, but still). This weekend, I wasn’t thinking at all.

I attended a leader-ship course in church (mainly about preventing abuse and assault on children and teenagers). The course was divided in three separate parts, one being a group discussion where each group got a made-up scenario to solve. My table had a situation on intercession.

20 year-old Tyler feels strongly this year to be a part of the intercession team. He has never done it before. You are not in the intercession team, but you have been watching Tyler during the services and noticed that many young girls tend to come to him. When the girls sit down next to him, he starts the act with removing some hair from their face with his fingers, looks deeply into their eyes the whole time, holds them close during the prayer and gives them a firm hug before saying goodbye. The girls feel happy and appreciated. 

The first question given to this situation was: Is this a problem or not? Of course it is a problem, we all agreed on that. When the course instructor wanted to hear our answers I was the one to motivate our thoughts. To explain why this was a problem, I wanted to use a clear example. “It may seem alright when 20 year-old Tyler does this, but what if this person would have been Bob, the 55 year-old bus driver? Would it have been okay if he’d have done the same thing? No, that would have been creepy…”

I assumed the rest of the people in the room understood my point. It was clear and concise. When I got home that day I realized something, though. Didn’t one of the scout leaders in that course mention he was working as a bus driver? Yes he did. Now he was 25 at the moment, but one day, wasn’t he gonna be the appalling 55 year-old bus driver I just described? Yes he was. O boy, what had I said…

I don’t know if he was any offended by that or if he even realized what I had said, but just realizing my mistake was awkward enough. What if I would start thinking before opening my mouth for a change? I could definitely use some practice. It’s not like it’s the first time I’m talking without thinking things through properly!

I know this may not be the most serious mistake ever, but I was still embarrassed from it. Poor bus driver… Well, better luck next time! I try to think of the positive aspects as much as possible. After all, I did learn something – don’t use clear examples before analyzing the members of the room! I also need to work on my thinking-before-talking skills, although that is gonna take longer. I heard something clever today, though. If you’ve read the Bible, you may have encountered it too, in Matthew 15:18: “But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.” Maybe if I stop thinking of bus drivers as something appalling (not that I do that a lot, this is also an example), I would never have to worry about saying such a thing? I think there’s much truth in that!

So what do you say, Beautifuls? Do you recognize the situation, talking without thinking? Well, if you do (otherwise this will just be a reminder to myself), try Matthew 15:18. Not only could it save you from awkward incidents, but make you a more positive person! I say give it a shot! ♥︎

Hang on there Beautifuls, 27 days till Christmas!

Love,
Lissy

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Why God Didn’t Make Life A Bed of Roses

Hey Beautifuls!

Having a good day? So far, I am. Yesterday was not so good, though. I don’t know why, really. Just that when one thing went wrong, everything started to go wrong. Do you recognize that? Well, it is so typical. And I, who don’t know what patience is, did not see myself having time for that!

In those situations I wish it would have been different. Not different even, I want everything to be easy! Like a bed of roses, that would have been perfect. But it’s not… Life is not fair and life will not always be easy, that’s simply how it is. Well, guess what Beautiful faces: there’s a reson why God didn’t make life a bed of roses! In fact, I’ve listed twenty of them. See it for yourselves! Especially if you’re having a tough day.

If life would have been easy all way through, you would never:

  1. Learn to stand up for what you believe in
  2. Learn to fight for your goals
  3. Be able to relate to your friend’s mishap
  4. Be able to understand your friend’s sorrow
  5. Be a good listener, ever (Yeah yeah, I try to listen to things I don’t understand too, but honestly if I realize I won’t get anything of the conversation I eventually stop listening) 
  6. Know what to live for, since everything in your life would have been perfect
  7. Know what your purpose of living really is
  8. Feel like giving up, then find that invincible strength inside of you that changes everything
  9. Grow! 
  10. Learn to overcome your fears
  11. Learn to accept challenges, or to recognize the good feeling of a pat on the back when being done
  12. Become independent
  13. Learn to appreciate the good days (you wouldn’t even know what a good day is!)
  14. Get the hottie you’ve been checking out, because you wouldn’t know that as long as you don’t do anything, nothing is gonna happen
  15. Have a juicy story to seduce the hottie with
  16. Get married – you didn’t get the hottie to fall for you
  17. Be able to start a family (or well, not the traditional way) – for that you would have needed the hottie
  18. Have grandchildren – you didn’t start a family
  19. Share your experiences to the people around you – they would be too busy with spoiling their own grandchildren AND you wouldn’t have any experiences to share anyways
  20. Be happy.

Quite tragic, isn’t it? Now, maybe your life won’t seem like such a disaster? I mean seriously: is a bed of roses boring or what?

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That’s why God didn’t make life easy: it is simply for your own best. We need challenges to grow and to find willpower. We need the punches and the heartbreaks to grow, and we need the hard times to be able to appreciate the good ones. A bed of roses would never have made us the individuals we are today. A bed of roses breeds cowards and WAY less interesting people than us. Trust me, you don’t wanna be an uninteresting coward. That is like the worst of all cowards…

So Beautifuls, stay interesting! Keep fighting and keep growing. After all, that is what we’re doing here, isn’t it? Learning about life! Otherwise you’ve reached the wrong blog, honey! 😉 ♥︎

Your very own and constantly studying the motions of life,
Lissy

 

21. Be able to stand up straight. Think of the thorns….

 

How to open and de-seed a Pomegranate!

Hey Beautifuls!

Is it possible to be addicted to something as precious as pomegranates? I’ve never heard of a pomegranate-addiction before, but honestly, I think I might have one. I just love these things. They’re red, beautiful and sweet, and full of surprises inside! I am just as excited every time I’m about to open one, because you never know how many new red juice spots will be added to your kitchen!

Although (and my mom might be the most grateful to this), I recently learned how to open a pomegranate in a simpler way, AND how to get the seeds out without squeezing them! Maybe my new skills are also in your interest? I’ll share my tips below! Still I must tell you: I watched this on a youtube video! Since I wasn’t bright enough to make it up myself…

Anyways, this is how to open AND how to de-seed a pomegranate.

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Step 1: Use a knife and carefully make a long cut through the skin all around the fruit without cutting it in half. You don’t want the knife to get to the seeds.

Step 2: Get your fingers in there and split the fruit! Be careful, though, this is the messy part! After step 2, your halves should be looking like this.

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Step 3: Slightly loosen it up a little bit by pulling the edges away from the middle. Try separating the different layers from each other.

Step 4: Place one of the pomegranate halves with the open (flat) side against the palm of your hand. Then use your free hand to beat the seeds out with a ladle or a wooden spoon (this part may also be a bit messy). A smart idea is to put a bowl under the pomegranate for the seeds to fall into.

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Voila, there you go! You’ve successfully opened and de-seeded the pomegranate! Don’t worry if you didn’t get my perfectly detailed and patient guidance, youtube is full of clever tips!

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Maybe you don’t have an addiction to pomegranates (yet), but if you ever come in contact with these pretty things, I hope this post have been useful to you! ♥︎

Take care!
Lissy

Your Hair – The Worst Enemy of Them All

Hey Beautifuls!

Scary, isn’t it? That what is actually growing on your head is also what you should fear the most? Or maybe it’s only scary because you have no idea of what the heck I’m talking about? Sorry for that… I’ll explain my point!

When my best friend was twelve, she was probably the shyest twelve-year-old in the country. In fact, she was so shy it eventually made her decide to turn her life completely in-side-out. So one day, she said: “the end with hunching, the end with keeping your mouth shut and the end with hiding behind your hair!” Do you know what she did? She straightened up, started talking and cut her hair short. The last one must have been the hardest to go through with. She had gorgeous hair! Although it was also the one that appeared to be the most efficient way to go. Suddenly she had nothing to hide behind anymore. She had to face her fears, which made her the person she is today.

I keep marveling at how brave she was doing such a thing. I don’t consider myself particularly insecure, but it would take lots of guts of me to do the same thing. I mean, I like my hair! I think it suits me and I feel pretty letting it hang over my shoulders. Cutting it off actually would make me way more uncomfortable being around people than at the moment. Isn’t that funny? I’m only confident as long as I have my hair. That is why I don’t think that the security only was in my friend’s hair; but in all of our hairs!

Agree with me or don’t, but I think it’s true. Changing hairstyles is not only about trying a new look – it’s about breaking comfort zones! I have friends who tend to dye their hair, variate lengths, try bangs or shave one part of their head, and to be honest – they are more comfortable with stepping outside of their bubbles than, let’s say: me. I like trying new things as well, but when it comes to leaving my comfort zone, I’m more tempted to chicken out than to pursue with it. If I were forced to face my fears, like my friend who didn’t have anything to hide behind anymore (and I would change my hairstyle more than just cutting the edges), I think I’d actually be more self-confident! And real confidence should come from inside of you. It shouldn’t be in your hair!

So Beautifuls, if you think you might be like me, maybe you should make a bet with yourself and do as my friend did: change it. Cut it off! When you’ll be able to pull off any hairstyle, no one could ever defeat you!

Of course, you’d better want to change it a little bit too… Well, think about it! I’m sure I will.

Now have an amazing weekend you beautiful creatures! ♥︎

Yours Truthfully,
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Caught in a bad circle

Hey Beautifuls,

Do you know what? I’m such an interesting person sometimes. I actually mean it, I think I’m a fascinating human being in many ways, although also somewhat negatively speaking. Usually, I know exactly what I should be focusing on to improve my well-being, but I don’t do anything about it. Funny, huh?

I’m too lazy, that’s the main reason (and the only reason) I could think of. I eat too much sugar, I should go for healthier meals. SHOULD. Then when Monday comes, and I have decided to start eating healthy, I tell myself that it’s not important to start right away today. Actually, why do I need healthier food? I’m not that bad! I could start working out again. Yeah, I think I should do that. SHOULD… Then it goes like that, over and over again. Do you see the circle?

I gotta be honest to myself too, though: my physical health is not my worst problem at the moment. Unfortunately, I could be better at taking care of myself mentally. I’m the kind of person who works efficiently and properly, if I’m doing something I’m going for it wholeheartedly, otherwise there’s no point in doing it. Moreover, I’m the kind of person who could be better at saying no, not because I’m weak but because I want to do everything. Clean the shelves by the pastries – I can do it! Join our band – Sure! Set me up for the Christmas Choir – it sounds like fun! Plan the Friday activity in church – Count on me!

It’s funny, it doesn’t sound like much work when I agree to do it. Well, that would be if they came once at a time. Eventually, all together I realize I have quite a lot of work. And you know me – if I’m doing something I prefer doing it wholeheartedly. That means I’m gonna have to find that energy again, which mostly goes away by the thought of all the work I’m facing.

Still, I know I do this. I know it’s been too much before, but I continue saying yes to everything. Boy, what is taking so long?

I don’t know if you need to hear this, but I know I need to hear it: STAY STRONG! Be harsh on yourself, make sure you won’t give in like that! You know it won’t make you feel good, so just stop it. NOW. It’s not that hard! You just gotta find that willpower of yours and stick to it.

Break the circle. Get rid of bad routines and take care of yourselves, once and for all. If it’s difficult, try to imagine what it’d be like to live with somebody that’s constantly miserable for the rest of your life. Because Beautifuls, you’re gonna have to live with yourselves for the rest of your lives.

So if you’re caught in a bad circle: get out of it. Especially if you’re aware of it like I am! Be good to yourselves. ♥︎

With love,
Lissy

 

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When Judging by Others Opinions

Hey Beautifuls!

There are a few things in this world that I think is rather given, unwritten facts, so to say. These could be for instance “don’t kill people”, “we all are equal on this planet” and so on, but also “don’t judge a person from what others say – make your own judgement”. I’d say I’m pretty good at that. I don’t care about what other people say about a person, I care about my own impression of him/her! – And my nose just grew three inches.

There is this guy at work. He is real nice and talks with everyone, actually a typical nice person! I liked him a lot. Liked. Until I heard my co-workers arguing that he is SO SLOW WHEN TALKING and the fact that it’s SO ANNOYING. I didn’t think he was slow. Of course I couldn’t just forget about what I’d heard the next time I saw him, I had to listen for the slow-talking! Wait. Yep, there it was. They were right, it is annoying.

And so they had me changing my mind. Naturally I didn’t think of it at first, but then I realized that I had gone from thinking him being nice to him being annoying. “Well observed” – I know, but crazy enough we appear to see much less than we want to believe sometimes, at least I know I do.

It was the same thing with this girl in High School. It was a new city to me and I didn’t know anybody, so I had to get to know my classmates to see what kind of people they were. Of course I didn’t connect with everybody, but most of them were nice anyways. The first months I hung out with quite different people, one of them being this girl, that I also thought was pretty okay.

The more weeks passed, the more people started talking about her, though. Sure, I had noticed she was a bit special from the rest of the students, having a differing temperament due to the ADHD and the ability to say less suitable things to people, but didn’t they understand that it wasn’t her intention to insult anybody? Apparently not. People sorta started to back off, focusing on their own friends. It’s not like they treated her childishly or anything, only they didn’t hang out with her unless the were obliged to. The tension was in the air every time she was around, and in time it had affected me as well. I was no better than the rest of them.

Isn’t that funny? I tell myself I’m such a good person and that at least I know how to make an own judgement, yet I stand there, listening to what others think. But don’t come and tell me I’m alone with that. If you can say that you don’t care about others opinions, that’s great. However, then you’d better make sure that you’re not exactly like me. Because I for real thought that I could say the same. I was wrong.

Beautifuls, maybe we could work on this together? To try real hard to remember not to let us be affected by what other people say. If we won’t judge the book by it’s cover, we won’t judge a person by others opinions! Deal? Great. ♥︎

Have a nice day!
Lissy
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Pull yourself together and Get up

Hey Beautifuls!

What do you do when somebody pushes you down? Do you stay down, start to convince yourself that you like the view better from there and become one with the ground? Or do you pull yourself together and get up again?

Naturally you get up. Maybe you wait until this somebody has gone, but you get up. I mean, you can’t stay down there forever, can you? That wouldn’t make any sense. The question is, Beautifuls: when something pushes you down, then what do you do?

Of course I don’t mean like a huge block of ice would fall down from the roof and hit you in the head (although that was only a few inches away from happening to me). Only sometimes, I feel like mental pain could have just the same effect as physical pain. When I realize I have too many things to do, it literally feels as if I would be wearing a backpack loaded with bricks. And when something happens, that I could never prepare myself for, it brings me to the ground just like somebody would have pushed me down.

It’s hard to get up again when you’re being held down by a load of bricks. What you need to do is to take off the backpack, put your hands on the ground in front of you and get up. Take some time to pull yourself together, find the right methods. Then face it.

Cause Beautifuls, we meet all kinds of weathers. Sunny summer afternoons to chilly storms, but nothing will ever be something that you can’t overcome. Yes we stumble, yes we fall, but that’s simply a part of life. When life gets tough, you might wanna let yourself being pushed down, you might wanna let yourself stay down. I say don’t. Again, take the time you need to pull yourself together. Find the right methods. – What do you need to be able to do this? When you’re ready, go into the storm and get it over with, once and for all. It’s not gonna hold you down anymore. ♥︎

Stay Beautiful,
Lissy

Break-ups and Goodbyes

Hey Beautifuls!

Why is it that bad things always seem to happen at the least suitable time? It haunts you down and strikes you when you’re not prepared, instead of picking a moment when you actually could handle it. No, in life you meet obstacles, that are way too high to ever get over. Anyways, that’s what it looks like at first.

Recently, a good friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend. They have been a couple for one and a half years, so seeing them apart is real weird! Of course, I’m not the only person to think so. My friend is devastated and has no idea what to do with herself. Because what do you do when the person you love tells you he has no feelings anymore?

For one thing, you cry. A lot! In fact, you cry so much you don’t know how to make it stop. The tears just keep coming, no matter you think of him or not. Only the simple question: “How are you?” could make you busy for the next half hour! Then you sit. Might not even think of anything, just sit and stare. Then he pops into your head again, and you break. It’s like your whole body is in pain.

Really, it’s awful. Yet at the same time it’s one of the most natural things you could go through in life. A break-up is obviously something that we all need to experience at some point. Tell me, though: How could that be? I think most of us could survive without it!

But if that would be it, there wouldn’t be any point in one-sided love or crashed relationships. Broken hearts and sleepless nights would’t have any meaning to our lives, and we would never have the chance to get up stronger than before. Even though it sucks, I like to believe that there is a reason for everything that happens to us; good things and bad things. Life is not simple, nor is it painless or perfect. But if you never see these rough days, you will never be able to appreciate the good ones. Thereby, break-ups, or any kind of goodbyes, are necessary.

It also gives us an opportunity to open a new chapter of our lives. Maybe you couldn’t be the person you wanted to be because you were in a relationship that stopped you from all that? And maybe you couldn’t do the things that you wanted because you always had to think of somebody else and not only yourself. Guess what? Now you can think of you and you only! You can start prioritize your life and your dreams, whenever it suits YOU. No more second thoughts, no more feeling bad because you didn’t bring your partner. This is about you and the fact that you can do anything you’d like with your life. Nothing can stop you!

Beautifuls, I know break-ups are hard. I know LIFE is hard! But it will get better, and you will manage through wether you believe in it at the moment or not. Take your time, grieve for a bit and then get back on the track again. Have fun with your friends, do the things you enjoy and watch the movies you like. Let this new chapter of your life kick the other chapters ass! Because it will, if only you let it. ♥︎

Stay Beautiful,
Lissy

 

… Chapter Two …

 

 

Welcome challenges instead of shutting them out!

Hey Beautifuls!

Are you the one who turns and runs when situations are getting a little more complicated than you thought they’d be? Or are you the one who sees the challenge and accept it (sorta like Barney in How I Met Your Mother!)?

Me, I accept. Every time! Or at least I’d like to say that… Actually, I’m more of a chicken kind of type when it really counts, at least at first. It’s just, well, it’s easier to run, don’t you think? To “deal with it later”, or just don’t do it at all. Yeah, I like the last one… But do you know what? That’s not how we grow! That’s not how we learn or how we get somewhere in life. In fact, that won’t give us a shit. Beautifuls, we need challenges. And they will come, wether you like it or not, so why not just as well stay prepared? This is what you do:

Imagine yourself as a wild homo sapiens living in the jungle. You’ve settled down in a quiet area, where there usually are no predators. But the forrest is full of them and you’re aware of it. Any time, there could easily be a hungry jaguar passing by your territories. The jagur is the challenge you’re facing. The thing about jaguars is that if you know they’ll come at some point, you don’t stick around doing nothing. You gotta be prepared, so that when it comes, you will be the one to attack before it attacks you! Of course you could also choose to run, but then there’s still a chance for it to find you again. Sooner or later your paths will cross, so what do you do? Do you deal with it, or do you hide from it until your fear eventually becomes too bad to get over?

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Look, meeting a challenge is scary, especially for the first time. Thereby, running away or pushing it aside might seem more tempting. The beauty with challenges is that when you take courage to overcome the first one, the second time will be easier. Sure there are more predators in the jungle with other qualities and methods, and there will be new kinds of challenges, but hopefully, what you’ve learnt from the previous battles is that when you prevail, you don’t need to think of it no more. You can move on, stronger than before. You’ve learned from experience, to expect that anything could happen. And you’ve got to know the warm feeling of relief when it’s finally over, and how you just love it!

Besides, let’s be honest. It’s way more fun to give yourself a pat on the back than to stand in the corner, feeling the lump in your stomach growing from every moment that “this thing” you’re pushing away occurs in your mind. Tell yourself to meet it instead. Open up, welcome the challenge and find a way to deal with it before other challenge-buddies show up att your front door! Tell yourself that resistance is good, that you need challenges to grow. Because that is as true as it could be.

Challenges is a part of life. We’re tested, easily or seriously, but nothing is prohibitive. Everybody’s facing them, in one way or another, and no problem you have is a problem that nobody’s ever had before. If they made it through, you can make it through! ♥︎

Believe in yourselves,
Lissy

Seize the day

Hey Beautifuls!

I know I graduated just a few months ago, but despite that I don’t remember too much about it. I know there was this previous student that held a speech, though. And she said something quite like this: “You think time has been flying already, but from now on it’s REALLY gonna start flying!”

My reaction was: “What? You can’t tell me that! This speech is supposed to be inspiring. Knowing that I will watch my whole life pass me by in a second is certainly not inspiring! Soon I will be an old lady with grandchildren running all around me, if I ever have children… To have children it takes to persons, right? Unless I wanna be a single mom… Is that what I want? Maybe I don’t even want children! Or a husband, no, I can make it on my own. Lots of people do that, don’t they?”

And now I’m done. But that’s basically what went through my head by that time! Then she spoke the well known words seize the day. – Damn right I will!

Especially since I realized she was right. Life was not gonna be over in a second, maybe, but I decided it was time for me to start taking care of the moments I was given and stop stressing about what was yet to come in the future. Now that I didn’t have school hanging over me, I could start focusing on me and what I really wanted. And I wanted to travel; so I did.

I’m not saying you need to do the craziest things you could think of, actually I’m not even saying you need to do any crazy business at all! Just live in the moment you are right now! Traveling was nice, I tell you, though what has made the greatest impact on my life is that I don’t let myself worry about the future anymore. I take the day as it comes and when I have some time left I spend it as I please (which is much easier when you don’t have homework to do, sorry). If I feel like having a cup of tea, I have a cup of tea, if I think I stop myself from talking to people I don’t know – I try to start a conversation with a stranger that looks nice. Learning about life, Beautifuls! Do you remember?

The easiest way to do so is definately by seizing the day. Telling yourself that it doesn’t matter if you make a fool out of yourself today, because tomorrow it will be forgotten. You live and you learn, and if you don’t like the way it is right now, change it! It’s your life and you only live once on this earth. So make something good out of the opportunity! And be nice to yourselves. ♥️

Yours truly

Lissy

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